Another Saturday weigh-in

I did good this week! Stuck with my points for the exception of last night. Last night was a halloween party put on by the town's park and rec, and although I was hoping to get away with not bringing the kids (I'm a bad mom, I know!) they begged me enough so I had to bring them. The little ones went on the earlier side and for Emilie it was later in the night. It was only pre-k through 5th grade, so I had to drop Ryan off at the rec center first. Then brought the little ones, ran home to get Emi, went back to the party, left to pick up Ryan and went back to the party to wait for Emi. Didn't get home till 9:30 last night! It was a super long day and I was very cranky.

Because of all this (I blame it on the craziness of the day!) I ate some candy corn and had hot chocolate and didn't count it. It could have been worse, I suppose.

Anyway, this morning I woke up late. 10 minutes before the WW meeting began. So I left the little ones home with the older ones, which I never, never do. But there was no way I was going to get 3 of us dressed and out the door before the meeting ended. I weighed in, and lost 2.2 lbs. I am happy with that, but I know it could have been more. My scale was showing me down 3-4 pounds, but because of my addition food, probably addition water weight, I was only down 2, but.... its better than nothing!

This week the meeting was mostly about maintainance. One of those things that I've thought about, but figure it'll be awhile before I get there. Basically the only thing I've known about maintainance was that I'd get more food to eat, just didn't know how much more. Turns out when I get to goal, I'll get 28 more points a week! That really only boils down to 4 extra points a day, but that 28 points sounds like a lot!

I've been worried about getting down to my goal. Who knows, I might even be sabataging myself unknowingly because of my fears. But the thing is, I like to eat. I'm at 24 points a day right now, and once I lose another 7 pounds I'll be down to 22 points a day. I realize this might be a little confusing for non-WWers, but those on the WW plan know what I'm talking about. To get down to my goal, I'll be at 20 points a day. Which is going to be really hard for me. But, once I get to goal, I can go back up to 24 points a day again.

Anyway, there I go rambling again. Just some thought going through my head. I know I can have another good week. Last week was good ,but what I'll call "week 1". I can stick with it for week 1, but week 2 I start to struggle. So, I'm aiming to be "good" this week. I'm taking it one day at a time, one week at a time. I have to stay motivated.

I can honestly say that I feel as bad about my body NOW, as I did when I was 247 pounds. And thats just not right.

And its time to keep doing something about it!

After my meeting

I went to my WW meeting. I stood on the scale. I lost .4lbs. I cried, because I'm a whimp when I'm pms'ing.

I met with my new and awesome leader and she told me I'm putting too much pressure on myself. She gave me a new week 1 book and told me to read it through. Pretend like it was my first week again. Go back to basics. And I'm feeling positive. For myself, I need to do this. I also have her email if I have trouble throughout the week.

After my meeting, Jen and I usually go to Dunkin' donuts for a latte and donut. I skipped the donut today and I'm feeling good about my decision. (of course, I kinda ate today's donut yesterday)

Tonight I'm doing my grocery shopping and I'm going to try to make this weeks menu's. Which is something I've never done before, but it can't hurt.

Just have to take it one day at a time.

I'm still around!

The truth?

I've been avoiding my blog.

I don't want to whine and complain about the same old things, but at the same time, I need to whine and complain. And I don't want to admit that these last few weeks have sucked. But its my own damn fault!

I'm still having a hard time. Its so hard to FOCUS when I don't want to put 100% into this weightloss. Its so hard to explain though. I want to lose more weight, I want to put 100% into this. I've just been going at this for so long. Roughly 20 months, and quite frankly, I'm tired of it. Technically I know I can still eat the same foods (for the most part) and still lose weight, but there are so many foods I can't have around because I'll binge. Which in turn, makes me feel deprived.

I'm doing great with the exercise though. I've been going to the gym around 3-4 times a week. Each time I promise myself that I'll do at least 1/2 hour cardio, purposely fooling myself into doing more. Once I get that 1/2 hour in, I'm ready to keep going! So exercise obviously isn't the problem. (and I've been able to maintain my weight, but I don't want to maintain!)

Its the food! Why does it have so much power over me? I always feel as if my taste buds are missing out on something. And now with the holidays coming, I'm in full panic mode! I want to make apple pie! And pumpkin pie! And with the cooler weather I want to make baked macaroni and cheese! Don't dare tell me to make these things and eat just a little bit, cause I can't do it! LOL

So anyway, just another bitchfest around here. I'm going to do something about it. I swear. I just need to make myself stick to it. I have a WW meeting in the morning and I'm not expecting a gain, but I plan on weighing in...I have to! I'll try to post a bit more often too!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Another Monday

So far, so good with this week. Hit the gym this morning and did 50 min treadmill. 3.25 miles, 339 calories burned. Its a good start. Yet another start. I'm going to really hit the gym hard this week to give myself a jumpstart, and hopefully lose 4-5 pounds. Eating is going well. The hardest part is getting through the weekend, and then I'm ok till around Wednesday or so. I gotta stick with this though. My weight is higher right now than it was at Christmas LAST year! Not by much, but the scale is supposed to be going down, not up.